Play Therapy 101

As parents, your goal is to always provide a safe, loving environment for your child to make sure they have the best possible outcome as adults. As a therapist my goal is to create a safe space to process the world in a way that kids can understand. I recognize the word has many unknowns and can feel really hard to accomplish this. So let’s talk about play therapy and how it can be super beneficial to kids who are needing support. My goal today is to identify what it is, how it can help and what therapists can do. 

So what is play therapy? Much like regular talk therapy we recognize that kids need space to process their world in a way that makes sense to them. Through play we can allow kids to express themselves, figure out hard emotions, and learn to regulate their emotions in an age appropriate way. My goal in the room is to help children express their emotions, process experiences, understand their feelings, manage relationships, and build self-esteem. It looks differently because kids don’t benefit from traditional talk therapy and express emotions through play. As a therapist we observe the child’s behavior and interactions with toys to gain insight into their emotional state. We help kids with aggressive behaviors, feeling nervous, new fears, changing schools, bullying, self harm, self esteem and so much more. We talk to feel better and kids play to feel better.

 Play therapists take on different roles whether it is more directive or less directive we focus on the child making personal choices and decisions. When first entering the play space for the first time most therapists will set boundaries and limits around how play can go. Typically the boundaries are focused on not harming anyone’s bodies or harming the toys. We focus on letting them know that we can “play in almost every way we want.”  A typical play therapy session lasts around 50-55 minutes and takes place in a room filled with toys, art supplies, puppets, sand trays, and games—all carefully chosen to encourage expression. We provide different forms of toys that cover aggression, caregiving, fantasy, exploratory and mastery skills. Sessions are often child-led, meaning the child chooses what to play with, while the therapist observes, engages, and gently guides the process as needed. Over time, the play focuses on healing and understanding the underlying emotional struggle, which the therapist helps the child explore and resolve in developmentally appropriate ways. 

So you think play therapy is the right fit for you, now what? Well as a therapist I strongly encourage requesting consultation calls with clinicians to ask about how they engage with family systems, kids, parenting styles, expectations and need for parental involvement. Knowing your family’s needs and how you want a therapist to engage with your kid is extremely important! We all are unique in our approach and we want to be the right fit for you also! Don’t be afraid to ask questions, interview your therapist and change if it is not the right fit for your kid. 

After you found your therapist we are now moving into the intake process. Typically at the CRS Child and Family Center we like to do an integrated intake, some therapists will want to call before your intake to ask some more parent focused questions, but often an intake includes the parents and kid. However, after that it’s usually just the therapist and child in the room unless we are working on parent-led interventions with your family.The therapist will then get to know your child over a few sessions, building trust and creating a sense of safety in the playroom. This takes time! The therapeutic relationship is a gradual place of trust and understanding that is built up through play sessions. Here are the biggest pieces of information I want parents to know when bringing their kids in for the first time:

1. Wear clothes that can get messy–art, sand, and slime are often involved in these sessions. We want to make sure that kids can engage in as much or as little as they want.
2. If you are coming straight from school, pack a water bottle and a little snack. Kids who have basic bodily needs met are more likely to want to engage in the therapy room then the kids who are hungry.
3. Please always ask a therapist before letting the child bring in their own personal toys. This sometimes can be a distraction from the therapeutic toys and we may not know the meaning behind them. We want to be as understanding of the child as possible.
4. Sometimes sessions end early. This can be to a variety of things from aggression, not following limits, or extreme emotional dysregulation. This is rare, but this is why it is so important for parents to always stay at the therapy office waiting room while your kid is with the therapist.

Finally, I know the idea of not knowing what is happening in the therapy room can feel really scary, but therapists usually do check-ins, follow ups and consultation. If there is a risk of danger or harm for the child that will be reported immediately to the caregiver and sometimes CPS. When it comes to abuse it is important to be open and honest with the therapist about your child’s trauma history and letting us know if there are any open or previous CPS cases. We are both on the same team.

So whether you are considering play therapy or unsure if it is for you, I hope this helped explain one of the more unique ways of engaging in therapy. Remember, emotional growth takes time, and every child progresses at their own pace. Some changes might be subtle at first, while others may take a little longer to show. Trust that healing is happening through the play.