Many clients come to coaching because they feel stuck. There are four things that contribute to
feeling stuck and when we recognize them, we can address them.
1. Limiting Beliefs- A limiting belief holds you back from doing something you really want to do. For example, in 1954, Sir Roger Bannister broke the record for running a mile in just under four minutes. Everyone told him it couldn’t be done. In fact, even doctors said it was unhealthy to try. But Mr. Bannister went on to break the record. If he would have believed what he was told, he wouldn’t have even tried. He would have limited himself and remained stuck in running a mile in over four minutes. Thoughts become reality.
What are some of the limiting beliefs you might be experiencing?
2. Assumptions- Making assumptions is something we do every day. If I have been stood up for a date after having met someone a first time, I may choose to assume that this will happen again and decide not to go on any more dates. Because something has happened once, does not mean it has to or will happen again.
What assumptions do you often find yourself making? In what ways do you jump to conclusions before clarifying with someone what it is they are really saying, feeling or meaning?
3. Interpretations- Sometimes the way we interpret what is said, or the way we interpret a situation, is incorrect. Maybe I decide that I was stood up for the date because the person I was having the date with didn’t like the way I dressed when they first met me. So, I decide to go out and spend a lot of money to buy a bunch of new clothes. This may not be the reason I was stood up at all. But because of the way I interpreted the situation, I decided this was the reason. What might be some other reasons that I was stood up? I would never know unless I ask the individual directly. We interpret what is said, facial expressions, body language and situations many times a day.
What if our interpretation is incorrect? Who remains stuck?
What interpretations have you made that, when looking back, may have been incorrect?
4. Gremlins- We all have them. They are the little voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, rich enough, smart enough, pretty or handsome enough, thin enough, old enough, or perhaps too old. They are the self-defeating thoughts that keep you from reaching for what you want. They hold you back from believing in possibility. I was dyslexic as a kid and not diagnosed until I was a sophomore in high school. I thought I was just stupid. But after I was diagnosed, I could seek help and do something about it. Today, I don’t experience the problems I experienced in my youth. I’m not stupid. My brain simply saw things differently. Had I known this as a child, it would have saved years of turmoil for me.
What are your gremlins? Identify them and reframe your thinking to combat these untruths. Positive self-talk can provide the relief you need from these annoying thoughts. Limiting beliefs, assumptions, interpretations and gremlins all keep us stuck. They are built on fear and prevent us from being who we really want to be. Once we become aware of this, we can make the necessary corrections and move forward to experience the life we decide we want to live.
Terry Budlong, MA, Certified Life Coach
For more information about Life Coaching, contact Terry@crscounseling.com