What Couples Therapy is Right For You?

It is difficult to figure out what kind of therapy is right for you! The difficulty is intensified when you are not just trying to decipher what therapy is right for you, but what therapy might be best for your relationship. Couples therapy has long been depicted in popular media as a scary process where you go to fight with your partner, in front of an ominous judging stranger, for an hour and have your entire week ruined because of it. This depiction does not do the process justice and there are many different reasons to begin couples therapy, types of approaches used by therapists, and even different desired outcomes. In fact, couples therapy does not need to be limited to “couples” only. Polyamorous arrangements can also benefit from “couples” therapy!

 For first time therapy-goers, there is an overwhelming mountain of information online to sift through as the therapy journey begins. Fortunately, I want to help you consider your different options in a simple and digestible way. We should start first with the different reasons to begin couples therapy in the first place. Couples may be interested in starting couples therapy during important life transitions. For example, recently getting engaged or married, moving in together, buying a home, adopting a pet, pregnancy/bringing home a baby, coparenting, or death of a loved one. All of these life transitions can cause strain or growing pains within relationships and a couples therapist can be helpful to navigate these changes. Another reason couples may be interested in starting couples therapy is because of communication breakdowns that prove to be too challenging to handle alone. Finally, couples may be wanting to start couples therapy because they are wanting to figure out how to mindfully separate their lives as their relationship is coming to an end. All of these different listed reasons, and many other reasons not listed, for entering couples therapy are completely valid and wonderful start points for the therapeutic journey!

There are also different types of couples therapy. Each therapist will take a unique approach to work with couples but generally their work will fall into a few broad categories. One category of couples therapy is called premarital therapy. Premartial therapy can be for couples considering marriage in the future, couples who are engaged, or couples wanting to make a long term commitment to each other. Premarital therapy by name implies marriage comes after but this does not necessarily have to be the case! Premarital programming can be helpful whether you and your partner decide to get married or not. This type of therapy serves to find the strengths and growth areas within the relationship and to make improvements, plan for the future, and strengthen the relationship overall. The second and primary type of therapy would be the classical couples work where long term partners work on shared goals through various therapeutic models to achieve the goals that were set out at the start of treatment. Treatment goals will vary widely from couple to couple. Examples of goals in couples therapy are improving conflict resolution, building more sexual chemistry, deepening emotional intimacy, or even uncoupling. 

No matter what your starting point, your couples therapist is waiting to assist you in deciding what couples therapy is best for you, how to achieve your goals, and fostering a happier, more satisfying relationship.